Friday, January 20, 2012

Pirate Monkey is my friend.....

Uhmmm not so much.

So, again, its been forever since I posted anything, well forever in an internet sense of the word.  I haven’t been necessarily busy, more frustrated than anything else. The mix between taking care of kids, home and trying to accomplish tasks that I have put off because they are either very time consuming and/or emotional draining and avoiding these same tasks while feeling guilty for the avoidance mechanism, then on top of it dealing with the Knight in Shining Armor’s ex and her obsessive need to control and dictate our time with the kids.  You know, because in her mind that how it works in a joint custody situation.  Needless to say, raising My Lauren on essentially my own for the majority of her life with little financial help from her dad (part of which was agreed upon- not looking for a pity party), doesn’t lend me to take that kind of crap from anyone, especially when I have been a major part of Moo’s and Blue’s lives for a better part of 7 years.  Beyond the kids, I have a tendency to be very loyal to my husband (I know – who da thunk it?) especially when he’s being verbally attacked by a psycho-bimbo from hell who has walked away from her children (4 of the 6) not once, not twice but three times in their short little lives, but she’s the victim. Yeah I’m a little bitter, a little holier-than-thou about this one.  But being the bigger person who loves her step-kids more than bio-bitch mom will ever understand, I haven’t ripped her a new one (figuratively or physically) though she most certainly deserves it.  Especially when she tries to use my dead daughter to garner my symphony for her, sadly I’m not kidding or exaggerating. 

So, for the past couple of months we have been seeing a counselor for “family therapy,” with Pirate Monkey (my new code name for her) and her significant other (S.O.).  S.O. is a good guy, kind of like KSA, as I am pretty sure Pirate Monkey hasn’t changed much since the stories KSA told me about when he was with her, S.O. is either a saint or a sadist.  In this particular instance, I doubt there is much of a difference.  Thus far, the therapy sessions have either been Pirate Monkey having screaming hissy fits, where she has been literally kicked out of the room or just simply on the verge of said hissy fits, literally shaking as she speaks and EVERYTHING we may say is a direct attack against her all the while KSA and I are sitting calmly and desperately trying to keep our mouths shut, not to make it worse.  I wish I was kidding.  The last few times we’ve exchanged the kids (from their house to ours and vice versus) she’s avoided contact (thank God) and left it up to S.O. Prior contact over the last few months, she’s either tried to start an altercation (at school no less) or came out screaming at KSA in front of the kids.  If I was truly an evil person (and you have NO idea how tempting it is) it wouldn’t take much to say something to send her over the edge, but as I am CONSTANTLY reminding myself, “we are here for the kids, as much as it would feel good to get all of your frustrations out, it’s not going to ultimately help the kids.”  Did I mention this therapy was my idea? Maybe I’m the sadist… (yeah, I don’t want to think about that one *shudder*)

Anywho, this last session seemed to have some progress, but then again we thought there was some progress after we had a sit down with Pirate Monkey and S.O.  a month or so before the therapy began.  This time S.O. was doing the talking, trust me there was a collective sigh of relief and the tension in the room seemed to lessen so much so, my smile was truly genuine.  Mama Bear retracted her claws a little bit.  Essentially this particular meeting was about scheduling and they brought up a suggested schedule for the first half of the year.  On the surface it looks fair, though I need to crunch the numbers to ensure it and noting the fact the woman has to use a calculator on 3rd grade math and normally can’t read a calendar, yeah I’m crunching the numbers.  I really hope it works out, it’s not going to pretty (on her end) if we have an objection.  Sad part is on first look, it doesn’t seem like it’s going to work out quite the way she wants it to. Sigh, looks like mama bear is going to have to grin and bear it, again. Ba da dum cha! 

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